As your pregnancy progresses there is no doubt you are in the mode to prepare and plan. You have probably taken steps to prepare a nursery, plan a baby shower, or are at the point where you’re preparing for birth. But have you taken time to prepare your relationship? Let’s change that today.
Bringing a baby home is a life changing event for even the strongest relationships. Life will change forever. And it’s going to be absolutely wonderful. But with all the wonder will come a lot of challenges and obstacles.
Luckily, you can get your team super prepared with the right conversations before baby arrives. Today, let’s get that conversation started. Here you will find over 50 discussion questions to help prepare your relationship for baby.
These are things you should take the time to discuss before that little bundle of joy makes their appearance. With these conversations out in the open, hashed out, and understood, your relationship will be stronger and better prepared.
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Whether you’ve come across this article early in your pregnancy, or you’re close to your due date, one thing is certain. As the birthing mama, you are feeling connected to that baby. They are growing inside of your body, and not a moment goes by where you aren’t aware of that presence. That means that your subconscious is also already adjusting to the idea of a shared life. Nothing will be solely yours anymore.
This can be a more difficult concept for your partner to grasp. Sure, they know that a baby will be joining your family, but the constant presence of that baby for 9 months before their arrival isn’t as concrete for them. Luckily there are lots of ways to get your partner excited about pregnancy. One of the most powerful ways that my partner and I were able to really connect, bond and prepare for baby was through intentional discussions.
One of the childbirth classes that we attended gave discussion-related homework each week. This was the push we needed to really dig deep and get on the same page before baby arrived. In this article, I’ve covered discussions that will prepare your relationship on all fronts. But more education is never a bad idea.
To help organize the 50+ discussion questions included in this article, I’ve come up with some general themes to guide you. Perhaps you want to pin this article and revisit it throughout your pregnancy. Maybe take on one category of questions per week and make your own “series” out of it.
I also love the idea of creating a date night, and having a discussion “theme” for the evening. In fact, I bet as these questions get your conversation rolling, you’ll come up with more questions for each other.
Let your conversations be fluid and organic. See where these questions lead you. Remember this isn’t an interview. This is about bonding and preparing as a team to make your life easier once baby arrives.
The first milestone you’ll reach in your relationship when it comes to a newborn is labor, delivery and birth of course. So that seems like the most logical place to start. Getting on the same page about labor and delivery will mean you can count on each other in the process.
Naturally, some of the roles are going to be prescribed (ahem, the baby does have to come out of you after all…) but sharing your headspace on the following questions will mean that your partner can fully support you. And you’ll have a better idea of where he’s at regarding the whole thing too.
When it comes to raising a child, there are lot of topics that might leave a couple divided. By getting an idea of where you each stand on some controversial, or just tricky, decisions now, you’ll save yourself a “heat of the moment” argument.
Talking about these topics ahead of time will also allow for you both to brainstorm ways to achieve success. It might even put topics in your head that hadn’t crossed your mind as a first time parent. Awareness of these decisions now means you’ll both have time to research and make informed decisions, together.
It’s no secret that your family’s budget and spending changes when a baby enters the picture. There’s also a likely unpaid maternity leave that needs to be accounted for. Nothing can divide a couple quicker than financial arguments. Have these conversations while you are level-headed and rested, instead of when hormones are haywire and you’re both sleep-deprived.
Financial Reality of Childcare
Deciding on who and where your precious baby will spend their days while you are working is tough. Take some time to research options and read tips on how to find the best childcare for your family.
The decision about how much to spend, and what’s important to you when it comes to your child caregiver is not a decision to take lightly. Discuss this at length with your partner and take your time visiting and researching options together.
Preparing your relationship for a baby means having realistic expectations. Life is going to change. Your role and responsibilities in the family will shift as mom’s attention will be largely on the baby in the beginning. Even the way you treat and spend time with each other inevitably changes. I know that my husband was pretty surprised about life with a newborn, but we came out strong on the other side.
Are you starting to realize just how much there is to talk about? Wow, a lot is going to change! If you are looking for more worksheets and support in preparing your relationship, be sure to check out our Nesting Planner. You’ll find over 150+ preparing printables, including over 15 pages to prepare you to be new parents.
This is a tough topic for a lot of couples, so it’s one you don’t want to skip ahead of time. As your family expands, interacting with in-laws and extended family is about to get a whole lot more complicated. Get on the same page now about handling in-law visits, parenting advice from extended family, and expectations about frequency of visits, etc.
It’s also a good idea to discuss your potential family size and child spacing. Okay, I know it might seem crazy to talk about this before your baby even arrives, but it will spare disappointment later.
Welcoming a new baby means that your lifestyle is going to change, but by how much? I just advised you to start thinking about family size, and that will also have a bearing on the lifestyle you want to live. Fewer kids might mean travel is more possible, and even going out to eat is less of a circus. Having nice things, new cars, or moving frequently are other lifestyle factors to consider.
Here you’ve read a variety of conversation themes and discussion questions to get you started. But every relationship is unique. Only you know what issues you two need to talk about. Anything that is a hot topic now, might just snowball when the challenges of a newborn arise, so really take some time to focus on each other while you can. And even with a strong bond, your relationship will be tested.
With our help, I know that your relationship will be stronger and better prepared for baby. Looking to get prepared in all realms of your life? Why not enroll in our FREE 7-day email course, Nest Smart. It’s a crash course in nesting that will have you well on your well to total preparation in just 7 days.
How are you preparing your relationship for life with a baby? Comment below with your top tips or concerns <3